How Often Does a Married Man Think About His Mistress?

The labyrinthine intricacies woven within the relationship dynamics of married men and their mistresses constitute a multifaceted tapestry marked by emotions, motivations, and profound consequences for all parties involved. This comprehensive exploration delves into the frequency of a married man’s contemplation of his mistress identifies signs of deep emotional involvement, scrutinizes the reasons behind the poignant feelings of missing a mistress, unravels the aftermath when a mistress decides to exit the clandestine relationship, and dissects the perplexing scenario of a married man grappling with feelings of jealousy towards his mistress.

1. How Often Does a Married Man Contemplate His Mistress?

How Often Does a Married Man Contemplate His Mistress?

Research indicates that married men contemplating their mistresses may do so 10 to 60 times daily, revealing a link to dissatisfaction in their marital relationships. Understanding this frequency requires a nuanced analysis of emotional dynamics within the marriage.

1.1. Factors Influencing the Frequency of Thoughts

Marital Satisfaction: The cornerstone for understanding how often a married man thinks about his mistress lies in the level of contentment within the marriage. If the marriage is marked by satisfaction, the thoughts about the mistress might occur less frequently.

Emotional Void: A critical determinant is the emotional fulfillment of the marital relationship. If a man feels emotionally unfulfilled, the frequency of thoughts about the mistress tends to escalate as a subconscious quest for emotional connection.

Attention Deficiency: The human psyche craves acknowledgment and attention. In cases where a married man perceives a lack of attention from his wife, thoughts about the mistress may intensify, providing a substitute for the emotional recognition sought.

Escapism and Emotional Connection: The affair serves as a physical escape and an emotional sanctuary. When the married man feels disconnected emotionally from his spouse, thoughts about the mistress become a refuge, offering a semblance of the emotional connection that might be lacking elsewhere.

2. Signs Indicating Profound Emotional Involvement

Signs Indicating Profound Emotional Involvement

Recognizing signs of deep emotional involvement in a married man’s extramarital affair is pivotal for unraveling the intricacies of his feelings and the impact on all parties involved. These signs transcend the mere physicality of the relationship and penetrate the realms of emotional and psychological connections, shedding light on the intricate web of clandestine emotions.

2.1. Elevated Importance in His Life

In the initial stages of an affair, secrecy often prevails, and the relationship is shrouded in discreet meetings and covert communications. However, a significant shift occurs when the married man starts prioritizing the mistress over other aspects of his life. The carefree attitude towards concealing the affair begins to wane, indicating a deeper emotional investment.

2.2. Financial Expressions of Affection

Financial gestures beyond the ordinary signify a desire to please and a commitment that extends beyond the superficial aspects of the affair. The meticulous attention to the mistress’s preferences reflects material indulgence and a genuine investment in her happiness.

2.3. Property as a Symbol of Commitment

One of the most profound signs of emotional involvement is purchasing property in the mistress’s name. This gesture goes beyond financial investment; it symbolizes trust, commitment, and future planning. The decision to intertwine lives at this level suggests a desire for a meaningful connection.

2.4. Conversations About a Shared Tomorrow

A marked shift occurs when the married man begins discussing plans, shared aspirations, and potential life changes with the mistress. This openness about the future extends beyond the ephemeral nature of casual affairs and signifies a commitment to a prolonged and shared journey.

2.5. The Symbolic Absence: No Wedding Ring

The removal of the wedding ring is a symbolic act with multifaceted implications. The act isn’t just physical; it’s choosing the affair over marital commitments. By discarding this symbol, the married man shows a readiness to risk the affair and focus solely on the mistress.

2.6. His Compliments Get Sentimental

Evolution, like compliments, serves as a poignant indicator of emotional progression. While initial admiration may be centered on physical attributes, a shift towards appreciating the mistress’s personality and character traits signifies a connection that transcends the superficial.

2.7. Sentimental Verbal Affirmations

Transparent communication about dissatisfaction within the marriage becomes a pivotal sign of emotional intimacy. The married man articulates specific preferences for the mistress, providing insights into the intricacies of his emotional landscape. This candid expression is a precursor to potential decisions regarding the relationship’s future.

2.8. Transparent Preference for Your Company

A shift in the married man’s dress sense goes beyond the superficial realm of appearance. It is a subconscious effort to align with the preferences and expectations of the mistress. This transformation signifies a desire to be visually appealing and an acknowledgment of the emotional connection influencing personal choices.

2.9. Evolution in Style: Dressing for Emotional Connection

Introduction to the significant elements of the married man’s life, especially his children, marks a profound step in emotional involvement. While the context may involve presenting the relationship as a friendship, exposing the mistress to the core elements of family life reflects a contemplation of a potential shared future.

2.10. Family Introduction: Meeting His Children

Divorce emerges as a pivotal discussion point, indicating a critical juncture in the married man’s emotional landscape. The contemplation of divorce is not merely a theoretical exploration but a tangible manifestation of the desire to reshape life priorities in favor of the affair.

2.11. Seeking Counsel: Your Advice Matters

Seeking advice from the mistress is a gesture that extends beyond the realm of casual affairs. It implies a recognition of the mistress’s intellectual and emotional influence, signifying a willingness to incorporate her perspectives into decision-making processes.

2.12. Guardian of Your Well-being

Protective instincts towards the mistress demonstrate emotional involvement that transcends the physical aspects of the relationship. The willingness to confront external challenges or threats to the mistress’s well-being underscores a sense of responsibility and care that goes beyond the typical dynamics of an affair.

3. Signs A Married Man Misses His Mistress

Signs A Married Man Misses His Mistress

Understanding the nuanced signs indicating that a married man misses his mistress unravels the emotional aftermath of physical separation. While the absence of physical intimacy is an obvious factor, the emotional and psychological void left by the mistress’s departure creates a poignant landscape of longing and introspection.

3.1. Craving Physical Closeness

The most overt sign of missing a mistress is the absence of physical intimacy. The married man may find himself yearning for the unique connection shared with the mistress, creating a void in the physical aspect of his life.

3.2. Yearning for the Thrill of Extramarital Excitement

Married men often miss the excitement and adventure that defines an affair. The mundane routine of everyday life contrasts sharply with the thrill of a clandestine relationship. The absence of this excitement contributes significantly to the sense of longing.

3.3. Desiring Emotional Validation and Wanting

The emotional void created by the absence of the mistress’s attention leads to a profound sense of being undesired and unappreciated. The married man may miss the mistress’s emotional validation, intensifying the longing for her presence.

3.4. Longing for the Spark of Passionate Living

The routine of a long-term marriage can dull the sense of aliveness and passion. The mistress injected vibrancy and intensity into the married man’s life, creating an emotional awakening. The absence of this passion contributes to the deep sense of missing.

3.5. Seeking Appreciation and Value

The mistress’s gestures of appreciation and acknowledgment create a void when absent. The married man may yearn for the unique ways the mistress expressed value, highlighting the emotional deficit within the marital relationship.

3.6. Lamenting the Absence of Flattery

The desire for compliments and flattery, a staple in many affairs, becomes a poignant aspect of missing the mistress. The absence of verbal affirmations and admiration intensifies the lack of emotional fulfillment.

3.7. Nostalgia for the Emotional Closeness

The emotional closeness and connection experienced with the mistress become profoundly missed. Shared secrets, laughter, and building hobbies create a void that is challenging to fill within the confines of the marital relationship.

3.8. Cherishing Stolen Moments of Happiness

Stolen moments of happiness, free from the constraints of daily life, become cherished memories that contribute to the sense of longing. The absence of these stolen moments, such as romantic dinners, creates a palpable emptiness in the married man’s emotional landscape.

3.9. Yearning for a Hopeful Future Together

Terminating an affair shatters the hope and anticipation of a shared future. The dreams and possibilities envisioned by the mistress become elusive, intensifying the sense of missing the potential life that could have been.

4. How Does a Married Man Feel When His Mistress Leaves Him?

Ending the affair

The aftermath of a mistress’s decision to end the affair unleashes a spectrum of emotions within the married man. His emotions reflect the complex interplay between marital commitment and emotional entanglement with the mistress.

4.1. Conflicted State of Mind

The departure of a mistress plunges the married man into a state of confusion, particularly when entangled in emotions for both the wife and the mistress. The intricate decision-making process unfolds, raising questions about the feasibility of leaving the marital union or maintaining the status quo. The emotional entanglement amplifies the sense of confusion as the married man grapples with profound choices.

4.2. Unexpected Sense of Relief

Ironically, relief can be a prevailing emotion for a married man when a mistress decides to end the affair. The relief stems from alleviating the inherent stress and secrecy of maintaining a clandestine relationship. The burden of juggling multiple lives and concealing the affair may diminish, providing a semblance of ease in the married man’s emotional landscape.

4.3. Profound Sadness of Lost Connection

The termination of an affair, even if pursued with the awareness of its inherent risks, often triggers a profound sense of sadness. This emotion emanates from acknowledging lost possibilities, unfulfilled dreams, and the emotional connection severed with the mistress. The sadness is a testament to the emotional investment and the real impact of the severed relationship.

4.4. Navigating the Waters of Regret

Regret becomes a poignant emotion when the married man reflects on the choices made within the context of the affair. The contemplation of whether different decisions could have altered the course of events and preserved the connection with the mistress may evoke a sense of remorse. The hindsight of lost opportunities contributes to the complex emotional landscape.

5. Can a Married Man Experience Jealousy Towards His Mistress?

how often does a married man think about his mistress

The paradoxical scenario of a married man experiencing jealousy towards his mistress unveils layers of emotional complexity and internal conflict. While jealousy is commonly associated with possessiveness within a conventional relationship, its manifestation in the context of an extramarital affair signifies intricate emotional entanglements.

5.1. Understanding Jealousy in Extramarital Affairs

  • Emotional Investment: Jealousy often arises from a deep emotional investment in the relationship. The married man may fear losing the mistress to external factors, triggering possessive sentiments.
  • Fear of Replacement: The fear of being replaced by another man, even within the context of an affair, can elicit jealousy. This fear stems from the emotional significance of the connection with the mistress.
  • Insecurity and Comparison:¬†Insecurity about one’s role in the mistress’s life and the comparison with other potential romantic interests can fuel jealousy. The married man may grapple with feelings of inadequacy or a perceived threat to the emotional exclusivity he desires.

5.2. Navigating the Complex Terrain of Jealousy

  • Open Communication: Acknowledging and openly discussing feelings of jealousy fosters transparency within the affair. Honest communication allows both parties to navigate the emotional landscape and address underlying concerns.
  • Establishing Boundaries: Clearly defining boundaries within the affair can mitigate jealousy. Establishing mutual expectations and understanding prevents misunderstandings that may trigger possessive emotions.
  • Self-Reflection: The married man must self-reflect to identify the root causes of jealousy. Exploring insecurities and addressing them individually or with the support of the mistress can contribute to emotional growth.
  • Embracing Emotional Complexity: Accepting that extramarital affairs inherently involve emotional complexity is crucial. Embracing the nuanced emotions, including jealousy, fosters a more realistic and mature perspective on the dynamics of the affair.


In the world of married men and mistresses, emotions complicate relationships. The affair involves contemplation and emotional signs and unfolds with longing and regret. The aftermath challenges the man with various emotions, navigating choices and consequences.

Understanding these relationships requires a nuanced perspective on human complexity in matters of the heart. Delving into emotions, choices, and the dance between societal norms and personal desires reveals that human connections, whether conventional or covert, are rich and transformative.


How often does a married man think about his mistress?

The frequency varies, but research suggests it can range from 10 to 60 times daily. It depends on factors like the individual’s marital satisfaction and emotional fulfillment in the affair.

What are the signs a married man is in love with his mistress?

Signs include prioritizing the mistress, increased spending on her, discussions about the future, changes in behavior like not wearing a wedding ring, and expressing preferences for the mistress over the wife.

What happens when a married man misses his mistress?

A longing marks the absence of physical intimacy, excitement, desire, and a sense of aliveness. There’s a yearning for the emotional connection and appreciation the mistress provided.

How does a married man feel when his mistress leaves him?

The range includes confusion due to conflicting emotions, relief from the stress of secrecy, sadness over lost possibilities, and potential regret reflecting on choices made within the affair.

Can a married man be jealous of his mistress?

Yes, jealousy can arise from emotional investment, fear of replacement, insecurity, and comparison. Navigating jealousy requires open communication, establishing boundaries, self-reflection, and embracing the inherent complexity of extramarital affairs.

Jennifer Zilin
Jennifer is an Author and founder of General Queen. A Passionate blogger who has been around the blogging community for over 06+ years and still loves all things related to Wordpress. Love to building websites, writing SEO optimized content, and helping authors self-publishing.


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